The Mixed-Up Files

Ahahaha, seriously you guys, it's not even funny.

...Okay, so it's a little funny, actually.

Anyway, so in history we're learning about Ancient Near East civilizations, and today the professor was telling us the story of the Epic of Gilgamesh, which is basically about this badass king in Mesopotamia.  He's kind of a bitch though, so the people get pissed off at him and pray to the gods to take him down a notch or two.  The gods are like, "hey, so, this king is kind of a bitch" so they send this wild man named Enkidu to run around with the animals and mess up all the hunting.  As smiting goes it's kind of weird and lame, but whatever.  Anyway, the king is not really suited to a vegetarian lifestyle so he sends a prostitute out to have sex with Enkidu for a week (!), after which Enkidu becomes civilized and "wise", and loses his ability to chillax with the animals.  (No, really.  I couldn't make this stuff up.)  Then Enkidu goes and fights Gilgamesh, after which, of course, they become best friends.

The two of them journey around fighting a ton of monsters and stuff, until Gilgamesh gets proposed to by the goddess Ishtar.  Here's a paraphrased snapshot of what went on in the classroom during this part of the story:

PROFESSOR: Then Gilgamesh was proposed to by Ishtar, who was basically the Mesopotamian Aphrodite, goddess of love and fertility, and he turned her down -
MY BRAIN: because he was having hot man sex with Enkidu.
PROFESSOR: because, he said, she brought misfortune to any man who was associated with her.  Ishtar was so offended that she decided to kill Enkidu.  Gilgamesh was heartbroken.
MY BRAIN: ...QED.  Hot man sex.

I had to stop myself from cracking up during class, because then people tend to ask what you're laughing about.  And that would have been awkward.  XD